


The Balancing Act of Your Love Life and Parenthood

by infinitelypi



Category: Homestuck
Genre: "finding yourself", Adult Life, Angst, Family, M/M, Some Romance, parenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-05-21
Packaged: 2017-11-25 15:25:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinitelypi/pseuds/infinitelypi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"B…but you have me! I'll stay with you forever, Daddy! Then you'll never be lonely! I promise!" her big blue eyes stare at you pleadingly, and your heart breaks in two. You wrap her up in a big hug, and her tiny six year old body shakes against you as she starts to cry "We don't need Dave… he's never going to be like Mommy anyway."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this a few months ago on ff.net and I just realized I never got around to publishing it here! I hope you enjoy it. Maybe someday I'll write a second chapter...  
> If you want to follow my tumblr, I'm mount-cragdor.

It's early on a Saturday morning and you're standing in your kitchen preparing breakfast for you and your daughter Casey. A slight ache in your head reminds you of all the drinking you'd done last night with Dave, and you are starting to wish you'd had more control. But as usual, whenever you go out on a date to a bar with him, he coaxes you into drinking more than you would usually. Casey had been left with a baby sitter, who was not pleased when you returned home almost two hours late, bleary eyed and with Dave in tow. Casey had almost been more upset than the baby sitter. As much as you hate to admit it, she had not taken a shining to your boyfriend, and it didn't seem she'd be coming around anytime soon.

"Daddy," she says as you set a plate of eggs down in front of her, "how come Dave always has to spend the weekends with us?"

"Because I like spending time with Dave. Don't you?" you knew it was a stupid question to ask, but really, what else did you have to say?

"But I thought you liked spending time with me!" she whines, her lower lip jutting out ever so slightly as she stares at her plate.

"Oh, honey, I love spending time with you!" you say quickly, kneeling down next to her and lifting up her chin so she's looking in your eyes. "Never think that I don't love you, Casey, but I've been lonely for a long time, and it's nice having Dave here too."

"B…but you have me! I'll stay with you forever, Daddy! Then you'll never be lonely! I promise!" her big blue eyes stare at you pleadingly, and your heart breaks in two. You wrap her up in a big hug, and her tiny six year old body shakes against you as she starts to cry "We don't need Dave… he's never going to be like Mommy anyway." she says through choked sobs.

Casey's comment leaves you in complete and utter shock. Deep down you figured she would feel that way about Dave, but hearing it for the first time stung more than you imagined it would. Without anything to say, you just keep rubbing her back until she stops crying.

"Casey, how about you finish your breakfast and then we can go to the park. Just you and me." you say, standing up. Her puffy eyes widen, and a smile spreads across her face.

"Just you and me? Really ? No Dave?" she asks hopefully.

"Uh, yeah… No Dave." you answer after a moment. After Dave had dropped you off at your house last night you'd told him you and Casey would meet him for lunch the next day. You suppose you'll call him and tell him that today probably won't be the best day to go out to eat. As Casey dashes out of the kitchen you walk over to the landline and wearily dial Dave's cell.

"Dave, I'm afraid we're going to have to cancel our lunch plans for today." you say quickly once Dave answered the phone.

"Good morning to you too." Dave says. You hadn't even realized you'd forgotten to say hello.

"Heh, I'm sorry, Dave, I'm in a bit of a hurry right now," you apologize "Seriously, though, about the lunch plans. Casey and I will be, uh… a little bit busy. "

"Why? You gotta take her somewhere or something? Or does she just not wanna see me?" Dave knows all too well of Casey's dislike of him, and how you bend over backwards for her.

"Heh, yeah, sort of. I kinda promised Casey I was going to take her to the park today… She got really upset during breakfast about how you are always here on the weekends." you decide to not tell him that she knows how lonely you've been since The Incident.

"Uh fine then I guess." Dave says with a yawn, and you wonder if you woke him up with your phone call. Part of you wishes that he would have put up more of a fight, and asked to try and come around this weekend. It's probably for the better though, you suppose.

"Maybe we could reschedule for tomorrow! It's not like we need to do anything today." you say brightly. Out of the corner of your eye you spot Casey entering the kitchen. Realizing you have to wrap this up quickly, you end the call with the standard promise to talk later, and then hang up.

"Was that Dave?" she asks, eyeing the phone suspiciously "He's not coming to the park with us, is he? You promised it would be just us." she says, placing her hands on her hips.

"He's not coming with us!" you say quickly, and you can feel your heart beating faster. Handling a hot headed child with a temper tantrum is really not something you want to deal with right now. "Casey, why don't you go out in the garage and find a Frisbee while I go get ready?" you steer her in the direction of the garage and hope that it will be enough of a distraction to calm her down.

She complies and you dash up to your room, throwing on a t-shirt and some shorts, and running your tooth brush through your mouth before you head back to the kitchen. Casey is holding a Frisbee and also a bucket of colorful chalk.

"Ready to go?" you ask. Nodding vigorously, Casey takes your hand and rushes out of the front door. Since the park is only a block or two away, you walk there. It's a bright and sunny and a warm breeze is blowing, and it gives you hope that today will be a good day. Once you arrive to the small play ground, Casey immediately runs up to the rusty swing set. She heaves herself onto one of the swings and a loud creeeak is emitted, yet Casey remains unfazed.

"Daddy, come here! I need someone to push me!" Casey shouts across the playground, waving at you. Setting the chalk and Frisbee down on the ground, you get behind Casey and pull the chains of the swing back and gently let them go. "C'mon, Dad! Don't be a wimp! I wanna go higher!" she tries to crane her neck around to make sure you heard her, but she can't quite do it.

"Casey, why don't you try pumping your legs?" you suggest once you've got her going a bit higher.

"No, Daddy, it's more fun when you push me!" she shouts joyfully, sticking her legs way out in front of her and leaning back. Both of you start to laugh and for quite some time it continues on in this way, with Casey relishing in your undivided attention. Jumping off the swing into the woodchips, she runs over to the chalk and drags you onto the concrete to draw with her.

She plays her favorite game with you, where she draws something and makes you guess what it is. She drew birds and sneakers, and one of the more difficult ones was a fishhook. You're about to scold her for a rather unflattering picture of Dave when your cell phone starts buzzing in your pocket.

"Hello?" Casey gives you a curious look, and she scoots closer to see if she can hear who it is.

"Hey Egbert I have an idea." Dave's voice rings in your ear, and you can feel your stomach drop as Casey's expression turns ice cold.

"Uh, this… isn't the best time." you fumble for words, looking everywhere but at the now pouting Casey.

"Dude, I was just thinking maybe we could make this lunch thing work." Dave says, and when you say nothing in return he keeps talking, "I mean, how long are ya gonna be at the park with her?"

"Probably not much longer. I was going to take her home in about half an hour before she gets worn out." you say, and you can hear Casey gasp angrily.

"Cool. Then why don't you swing by that sandwich shop near your place. I'm practically there anyway."

"Uhm… okay. Sure, why not." you say finally, and Casey is now tugging on your shirt sleeve, looking up at you, and she is clearly upset. "Bye, Dave." And with that you hang up the phone.

"Daaaaaaaaad!" Casey wails the minute the phone is back in your pocket. "You PROMISED!" she starts to cry, and the other parents in the park are now shooting dirty looks your way, and you can feel your face growing red.

"Casey, stop crying this instant!" you try to say in your most stern voice, but it gets drowned out by her wails, so you decide to just pick her up and carry her home. With her slung over your shoulder, kicking your back and yelling about how much she hates your boyfriend, you get out of the park as fast as you can. On the walk home you are sorely starting to regret ever agreeing to go to lunch with Dave.

Answering your phone earlier that day at the park was one of the worst decisions you'd made in a long while. You decided this after having to all but pull Casey into the diner after you, and deal with her sour mood the entire time. From the moment you'd arrived at the sandwich shop, Casey had made it her life goal to totally make a fool out of you in front of the public eye. Food was thrown, mean names were called, and tears were shed by the end of it all. Even as you sat in your home after the fact you could still smell the onions Casey had thrown at you and Dave.

Throughout this entire fiasco Dave had just sat with a poker face. He'd been around long enough to know that responding to Casey would just make it worse. You both tried to let her just tire herself out-to realize that yelling and throwing a fit wouldn't change a thing. But when it became clear that she was not going to be giving up anytime soon you had scooped her up and headed for the door. Dave threw a few dollar bills on the table and then you were gone, with only a shred of your dignity still intact.

Now it's three in the afternoon and you've finally got back to your house. Casey is still bristling from the lunchtime catastrophe, and you and Dave are both silent.

"What do you guys say we play a board game or something?" you ask, trying fruitlessly to break the mounting tension. Casey ignores you and storms into the living room, leaving you and Dave standing in the entryway.

"Well that certainly was a worse idea than I thought." you whisper, grabbing Dave's hands, and pulling him closer to you.

"No kidding. No one plays board games anymore." Dave chuckles.

"No, not that one!" you say defensively.

"Then which idea, exactly?"

"Letting you convince me to go to lunch with you." you say mock-accusingly.

"Hey, I'm not entirely to blame here, Egbert. You're an impressionable boy. Need I remind you of this yet again?" Dave smirks at you knowingly. He wraps his arms around you and for a moment you're both standing there serenely when Casey's footsteps come pounding into earshot.

"Daddy just stop already!" she shouts at you, grabbing a hold of your arm and prying you away from Dave. Her face is beet red and tears are welling up in the corners of her eyes.

"Casey, what are you doing?" you shout back, your eyes wide with shock at her actions.

"I can see you guys from the other room! You treat Dave like you treated Mommy! HE'S NOT HER AND I HATE HIM!" she runs over to Dave and starts pounding her little fists into his stomach, her feet throwing in a few kicks for good measure. Dave backs up, unsure of whether he should push her away or let her keep punching. You jump in and pull Casey off of him and haul her up to her bedroom. She's screaming and crying and she resists as you set her on her bed.

"Casey, you are not allowed to hurt people like that." you bring your face down close to hers, your eyes dead serious. She won't look at you and she refuses to talk, so you get up and head to the door.

"Don't come out of here until I tell you to." you say, and Casey tries to protest but you slam the door before she can get out a single word.

You head back downstairs and find Dave sitting at your kitchen table. After wearily plopping down in a seat next to him, you begin to rub your temples.

"God, Dave… I'm so sorry. I've been trying to get through to Casey, but she won't listen. She-"

"She hates me. Yeah, I know. Don't really need to go over it again." Dave says curtly.

"I just… I just don't understand why!" you say exasperatedly, "I mean... I think you're pretty great, heheh." you start to giggle, covering your mouth with your hand.

"Well of course I'm great, Egbert. I may or not be the embodiment of The Shit in itself. I am The Shit; it is me. However, your input is appreciated a great fucking deal. But let's not get carried away here."

"Wow, Dave, you have that response planned out for awhile?" you ask with a smirk.

"Don't give me that much credit. I'm just light on my toes. Wouldn't hurt ya to take a leaf outta my book."

"Hehe, sure, Dave. If you stick around maybe you'll start to rub off more. Then Casey and I can finally be as ironic as you or whatever it is exactly you have going for you… Well, I'm not sure about Casey, though. She's a pretty tough nut to crack," you sigh. "It's been over a year and she still hates you."

"Pretty weird, huh? I mean c'mon, all the other little brats I meet don't mind me."

"Dave, don't call Casey a brat." You say, "She can be a bit of a…challenge at times, yes, but I-"

"Seriously dude, don't let it bother you that much." Dave says, interrupting you midsentence, "I mean, I don't give a flying fuck about what she thinks of me. Why should you?" Dave folds his hands and places them on the table in front on him, staring you down.

"Wh-what do you mean you don't care what she thinks!" you exclaim, "Dave, I really want you to be a part of… of all this someday, and how can that happen if you don't care about her feelings!"

"Whoa slow down there." Dave says, taking off his shades and pinching the bridge of his nose. A moment later his shades are back on, looking at you, "if it really means that much to you, then I can try to get on her good side. Would that make you feel less hysterical about all of this?" at first you can't tell if he's being serious or not. Once you can tell his intentions are true, you answer him.

"Yes, Dave that would make me feel much, much better." you sigh, placing your head in your hands. "What exactly do you have in mind?"

"Uh, haven't thought that far ahead yet. Maybe I could give her one of my old swords and we could strife it out." Dave says, chuckling slightly.

"Uh, no! That is an absolutely terrible idea! I'm not letting Casey near one of those things with a ten foot pole!"

"Okay fine then Egbert. What the fuck exactly do you have in mind?" he shoots back.

"How about you take her on a hike?" you suggest. Your brain is devoid of any and all ideas that you can envision both of them wanting to participate in.

"What the hell. "

"Dave shut up," you interrupt him, not even allowing the chance for him to get started, "I'm being serious here. You and Casey. Tomorrow morning. There's a trail a few miles west of here. I'll go find directions on Google or something." You head out of the kitchen to find your computer and print out directions. The next step will be the hardest, you're certain, considering you have absolutely no idea how you're going to get Casey to agree with this. It'll be hard, that's for sure, but you can't help but feel like tomorrow might be the game changer. That after tomorrow, you can start to finally make your life more whole.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 2! It's considerably shorter than chapter 1, but I hope y'all enjoy it nonetheless :)

“So, how was the hike with Casey?” John asks from the kitchen just as you finish falling onto the couch in his living room.  
“Fucking...tiring...” you wheeze out over-dramatically.  
“Dude, how are you still out of breath? The car ride back from the nature reserve is like 20 minutes.” John shoots back sarcastically, walking into the doorway of the living room.  
“Fuck you! John, you of all people should know that I have lungs of steel.” you say with a smirk. Your shades are off and you wink at John. He just rolls his eyes.  
“Dave, don’t talk about our sex life while Casey’s awake.” John says, strolling over and plopping himself down next to you.  
“How do you know I was talking about sex? Maybe I was just pointing out how good my health is. Who said anything about my stamina?”  
“You did, you little shit.” John laughs, wrapping his arm around your shoulders.  
“Love you too, babe,”  
“Really, though, did Casey behave for you on the hike?”  
“Does trying to shove me into a ravine and then sacrificing my shades to the sun goddess count as her behaving?”  
“The fuck happened while you were with her?!” John turns to look at you, his brows arched in surprise, “You can’t be serious.”  
“Oh, I’m quite serious. The whole sun goddess thing was for real. Why do you think I’m not wearing my shades right now? Just for shits and giggles?”  
“But what about the thing you said about shoving?”  
“Oh, that.” you say, tilting your head back into the crook of John’s arm, “Well, let’s thank the sun goddess that my balance is about as steely as my lungs.”  
“Jesus, Casey sure did give you a hard time,” John says apologetically, planting a kiss on your cheek.  
“No shit, Egbert.”  
“Hey, what did I say about you calling me that?” he says in annoyance.  
“Hm, let me think here...” you say, pretending to ponder the question, “you said that it turns you on to no end and you wish I’d say it more.”  
“Wrong.” John deadpans, but leans in closer to you and kisses you on the mouth this time.  
“Rrrmphph,” you say, annoyed when John pulls back from you.  
“I’m afraid Casey’ll come in!” John whispers to you nervously, “And judging by the day she’s had, I don’t think this is what she wants to see.” You can’t deny that. Walking in on your dad making out with the enemy would be a pretty bad way to end the day if you were six.  
“Fine,” you grumble, “but you owe me.”  
“I don’t owe you anything. Greedy.” John closes his eyes and turns up his nose, feigning sophistication.  
You just shake your head at him, and you both fall into a comfortable silence. Casey can be heard playing in her room, and you let your mind wander to her mother. 

God, it’s got to have been at least two years now, and John still doesn’t like to talk about it much. He simply calls it “The Incident”. You’d think it was a fucking lame thing to call it if the situation weren’t so depressing. Some days you feel like a real piece of crap, coming in here and trying to make yourself a part of John and Casey’s life. You knew that they were functioning well enough when you came into the picture, but now you’re so far in you can’t back out. You literally can’t. Despite being a Strider and having to hold up the family reputation of stone coldness and general bad-assery, you can’t help but admit that it’d hurt to have John out of your life. All sappiness admitted, you really love him. It’s like you’ve gotten to that point that’s crucial in all romance novels- you’ve fallen so head over heels that you would do anything for John. You take a moment to grit your teeth at the gooeyness of it all. Then it hits you- what if doing anything for John entails taking a break so Casey can become more emotionally stable? No, you won’t think about that. No sir, not today. You push that thought back to the farthest reaches of your mind.  
“Babe,” John says, breaking the silence and your train of thought.  
“Yeah?” you respond nonchalantly, trying to sound like you totally weren’t just thinking about John breaking up with you.  
“I was just thinking, it’s only 5 pm, it’s Sunday, and we have nothing to do.” You don’t even bother to respond, you know John will just keep talking, “So I was wondering, what if we went out on a limb here and went on a... family walk?”  
You let his words sink in. First of all, he said “family”, second of all, you’ve just spent the better part of your day traipsing around and are not looking forward to more movement. Your heart pumps with reassurance that John isn’t going to end things. He just said family, didn’t he? Yeah, he did. Take that.  
“I hate to break it to ya, darlin’, but I think I’ve had my fill of walkin’ fer today. ” you take extra care to make sure your Texas accent comes through to try and get a giggle out of John, which it does (Swish).  
“Ahh, I guess I wasn’t really thinking about that. You know, my memory works in mysterious ways.”  
“I’m not even going to try and figure out what the hell that’s supposed to mean.” You quirk one eyebrow while John just sits there and laughs like a maniac at his own nonsensical joke.  
“Whatever,” you chuckle- John’s laugh is infectious, “maybe we should just stay in tonight.”  
“Works for me,” John shrugs his shoulders and turns on the television. The laugh track of some random show fills the room and you fall back into that comfortable silence.  
After about 15 minutes the calm is interrupted when John’s phone starts to vibrate in his pocket.  
“W...what?” John whispers to himself as he pulls out the phone and stares at the number, “No... this isn’t... no.”  
“John, what the fuck?” you try and peer to see the number, but John has his hands clenched so tightly around the phone you can’t see a thing. And John still hasn’t answered it, “Who is it?” you ask more gently. He doesn’t answer until long after the phone has stopped vibrating.  
“It... it’s Casey’s mom.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't update for the longest time. I've even more sorry for updating with a chapter, deleting, and reuploading another in its place. I just wasn't satisfied with the original chapter 3 I had written. So here it is revamped. Hope you enjoy? 
> 
> Tumblr: mount-cragdor

You swear to god that what you’re looking at is a scene straight out of a made for TV movie. The sheets on the bed are a mess, with John curled tightly into a ball in the middle. The battery of his phone was flung somewhere in the room, and he’s practically gone through one whole tissue box. Shit, you can’t bear to see him like this. If it wasn’t for Dirk’s god awful child rearing maybe you would actually know what to say right now. John’s just been crying and crying, and all you can think to do is rub his back and agree with whatever slightly incoherent things he says between sobs.   
“Dave I... I can’t.... BELIEVE HER.” John says through choked breaths.  
“I know... I know.” you whisper, laying down next to him. He snuggles into your chest and you instinctively wrap an arm around him.   
“She has... NO RIGHT... to think she can just... ASK THAT.” he sighs heavily, trying to quiet himself down. Even though Casey’s asleep, she is just a few rooms away.   
“For such an elegant chick, she has about as much tact as drunk college kid.” You mutter.   
“Dave, are you trying to be funny?” John sniffs loudly and sits up to look at you, the slightest hint of a smile playing on his lips.   
“I wish I wasn’t. Damn, she really did a number on you.”  
“Thanks for reminding me, asshole.” John deadpans.  
“Just speakin’ the truth,” you roll onto your back and stare at the off-white ceiling. John’s body is shaking next to you, and a new wave of guilt for not being able to help hits you. Fuckin’ emotions.   
~  
You know something is wrong. Daddy never cries like this. Even when he does cry, he always has done a better job of hiding it. For over an hour you heard him crying in the next room over, which overtook you with fear. What would make him cry so hard? Was it Dave? It probably was. He’s the one messing everything up. How does he think he can come into your house and make your Daddy cry? Well, this certainly can’t last any longer.   
Jumping out of bed, your socked feet make a light thud as you hit the ground running. The door to Daddy’s room is closed, so you fling it open, ready to fight, but what you see stops you in your tracks. Daddy is asleep in Dave’s arms. His nose is so red it looks like he has a cold, and there are crumpled up tissues all over his bed. You open your mouth wide, ready to shout, but Dave beats you to it.  
“I know why you’re here. Yes, your dad is upset. No, it’s not my fault.” Dave says, glaring at you. That’s how you notice how red and puffy his eyes are. He’s been crying too. Nonetheless, you’re still mad at him.  
“You don’t know what I’m doing! Move outta the way. I’m talking to Daddy.” You say with anger, a hint of smugness edging into your voice. He’s got no choice but to move!   
“Listen here ‘cause I’m only sayin’ this once,” he begins, “If I was you I’d get the hell outta this room before your dad wakes up.”   
“NO!” you shout. You can’t believe he said that to you. How does HE know what Daddy wants? Inhaling deeply, you’re ready to scream, but you fall dead silent once you see Daddy starting to wake up.   
“W...what’s happening?” Daddy says, his nose full of snot. His eyes widen when he sees you.  
Dave just drops his forehead into one hand, and you think he mumbles, “Jesus Christ.” under his breath. Daddy wriggles out of Dave’s arms and sits up, looking around like he got caught peeking at Christmas presents early. Everyone is silent for a tense moment, everyone glancing at one another.   
“DADDY, DAVE SAID A BAD WORD!” you shout, and scramble out of the room before he has the chance to say anything. You still have no clue what is going on, but you don’t care anymore. Hot tears are making tracks down your cheeks, and you jump into your bed.   
~  
“Dave you have five seconds to tell me what the hell is going on.” You stare him down until he finally breaks, looking down at the floor.  
“John, even I don’t fucking know anymore, okay?” he says, tears rimming his eyes. Dave rarely cries, and you feel a twinge of guilt because you know this is all of your fault. You want to take out your anger, and he’s the closest punching bag.   
“Why did you say a cuss word? IN FRONT OF YOU-KNOW-WHO?” you’re shouting now.  
“God damn it, your daughter isn’t Voldemort. She knows you’re talking about her. And you’re sure as hell gonna have to talk to her about the phone call some-”   
“Shut up!” you break him off mid sentence with your outburst. Your breathing is erratic and you pull on your curly hair. “Okay, so I’m gonna have to talk to her. Yeah, soon. Sometime.”   
“John, I know you aren’t gonna do it.”  
“Oh really? How the hell do you know?”   
“Because if you’re the same man that I’ve been dating for the past two years, I know you’re gonna keep putting this off until it turns into a huge family blow out.” You have nothing to say to that. Even though you don’t like to admit it, Dave does make legitimate points every once in awhile. You say nothing.   
“Jonathan Egbert, you go put on your big boy pants and march your ass into your daughter’s room. Just because Casey’s mom says you can’t do shit, that doesn’t mean it’s true.   
“Dave, no. I can’t do it.” you’re defeated.  
“I don’t think so. Now, I could go on a long spiel here about how Nic Cage never fucking gives up, and how even though he’s a bad actor he just keeps on auditioning. But I’m not even gonna attempt to do that because you don’t need it. What you do need right now is a good dose of family time.”   
“Uh...” you’re not sure what to say. Luckily Dave does.  
“Go get’em, tiger.”  
And with that, he pushes you out the bedroom door.   
~  
There’s a soft knock on your door. It’s hesitant and unsure, but you don’t even have to get up to answer it because Daddy steps in a moment later. Seeing him silhouetted in the light of the hallway scares you, and you hold on harder to your stuffed lizard. Daddy turns on the lamp before he takes a seat on your bed, and the mattress wheezes in protest at his weight. His part of the bed sinks down, and you end up sliding into him.   
“Hi honey.” he says, laying a hand on your forehead.   
“Daddy, I dunno what’s goin’ on, but I don’ like it.” you try to hold back your tears, but your attempts are fruitless.   
“I... I don’t know where to begin, Casey. A lot has happened tonight.”   
“Did Dave be mean to you?” anger wells inside you again.  
“No! No, Dave doesn’t have anything to do with this. Well, not really.” He shakes his head, and you’re not sure why.   
“Daddy just go away! If all you wanna do is talk ‘bout Dave then leave!” your voice catches in your throat as you say this.   
“Casey! This isn’t about him! You need to listen to me.”   
“Fine. I’m waiting.” out of habit your lower lip juts into a pout.   
“...Your mom called me tonight.” he doesn’t make eye contact with you as you jump out of bed, your heart racing.   
“WHAT? MOMMY?! REALLY?” You’re so excited you can’t control yourself. Maybe you’ll finally get to see her again. You’ll finally be able to prove Daddy wrong because he’ll see that Dave can never be as good as mommy. “OHMYGOD WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?” you’re practically jumping in place from excitement. You’ll finally see her. You’ll finally see her.   
“Casey, shush.” Daddy’s face goes all stern and he’s looking you in the eyes now. His eye brows are doing that funny caterpillar thing where they bunch up together in the middle and it’s hard for you to hold back your laughter.   
“Does she wanna come live with us? Is she gonna? Are you guys gonna get married?” you look up at him hopefully. You grow a little worried because Daddy’s face isn’t as excited as you want it to be.   
“Well, erm, Mommy does want to come.”  
“Yay!!”  
“But... uh... well, she wants to come here, yes. But, I don’t know if I want her to do that.”   
“YOU HAVE TO LET HER!” for the umpteenth time tonight your eyes fill with tears. You ball your fists, ready to throw a tantrum.  
“Casey, it’s not a good idea for you to be around her. She wants you to... live with her. Not all the time, but sometimes. But we just can’t do that.” 

Silence.

“I hate you.” you say, in a tone barely above a whisper.  
“What’s that, honey?”  
“I said. I. Hate. YOU.” you start screaming, tears pouring down your face. Why can’t he see how much you want to see mommy? 

Why doesn’t he care?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS I WROTE THIS IN LIKE 3 HOURS SO SORRY FOR BAD SPELLING AND GRAMMAR ERRORS CAUSE I'M SURE THERE ARE SOME.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Constructive criticism is welcome!!

You’re starting to wonder if Casey actually does remember her mom. It’s been a few years since The Incident, so she would only have been 4 or 5 at the time. And it’s not like she saw her that regularly even _before_ everything turned into one big mess. Her mother would show up on your doorstep unannounced a couple of times a month demanding to see her daughter. On a couple of occasions she even had the audacity to show up higher than a parade ballon on Thanksgiving Day. Well, you can proudly say you did not let her even get one foot in the door before making her leave.

All of these thoughts pool together in your mind into a knot you can’t work out. You’re in the kitchen with Dave, but you’re not sure if he’s even sitting at the table with you anymore.

“SHIT!” Oh, there’s Dave. You look up and see he’s dropped cereal all over the floor. He bends down to pick it up, but decides to just lie down instead. Something about his position looks so comfortable that you abruptly get out of your chair and get down next to him.

“Good night,” Dave mumbles. And within a minute both of you are out cold.

~

With all of the crying and panicking from last night, you could have slept for an eternity. When you wake up at 7 am every joint in your body aches, and your head is throbbing. Rolling onto your back, a series of pops and cracks issue from your hips.

“Dave?” you absently grope the air next to you for a human being.

“Egbert, I know I’m hot property, but it’s too early for this.” he swats your hand away.

Well, Dave’s certainly not getting up. You know you can’t be on the floor any longer, so you carefully get up and you’re about to go upstairs when you remember what Casey said to you. A pounding begins behind your eyes, and you turn right around and head to the bathroom in the basement. In the shower, you crank the water onto the hottest setting, and as the steam begins to surround you, your muscles loosen under the hot water. Your headache eases up and you can finally begin to relax.

The pounding of the water is so loud you don’t hear the door open. You do, however, hear hands ripping the shower curtain open. You instinctively cover your crotch, and Dave laughs and steps into the shower with you.

“Why so modest all of a sudden?” he chuckles, waggling his eyebrows at you.

“Why are you in here?!” you say, moving your hands to your hips.

“Hey, you’re stressed, I’m stressed. You’re always telling me to handle my emotions better. I figured you could help me out. You know,”

“Don’t” you cut him off.

“You scratch my back, I scratch yours.” he finishes anyway, “Well, scrub.” he smirks before moving in and planting a kiss on your lips.

“Your breath tastes bad.” you mumble against his lips, but you don’t pull back. He leans in further, kissing you slowly and running his fingers through your hair. Your breath catches in your throat when he pushes his pelvis up against yours. You forget all about your lingering headache, and Casey’s mom, and focus on Dave and the pounding of the water. That’s all you can hear- the pounding water and a knock on the door. Wait, a knock on the door?

Before you can do a thing about it, the door is flung open.

“DAVE GRAB THE SHOWER CURTAIN!” you scream. Dave, confused, turns around and freezes. Your daughter and her mother are standing there, and it takes another second before Dave finally gets it in gear and pulls the flimsy shower curtain to cover up the two of you. You turn the water off, and everything is silent, but not for long.

“Whoa, John! Way to GET SOME!”

“VRISKA I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM MY HOUSE.” you shout. How the HELL did she get in here? “CASEY. GO TO YOUR ROOM. NOW.” your daughter dashes out of the room and you can hear her feet pounding up the stairwell. “YOU TOO.” you shout at the tall woman leaning in the doorway. She begins to cackle manically and slams the door behind her.

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, JOHN?” Dave shouts at you. His eyes are wide and there’s a mixture of confusion and shock plastered on his face. He gets out of the shower, grabs a towel and begins to pace around the small bathroom.

“That’s her? Really? John, what? No, this isn’t happening right now.” he’s shaking his head in disbelief. You’re starting to get cold so you grab your bathrobe and plop down on the closed lid of the toilet. The headache from before is coming back in full force, and you snatch a bottle of aspirin from the counter and down a few.

“John, are you even listening to me?” Dave is being persistent. He rarely gets this worked up.

“Just shut up and put on your god damn pants, Strider!” once that left your mouth you realized it wasn’t a good idea.

“John, I’m not fuckin’ around right now. Your baby mama is sitting 10 feet away and I need some answers.” Anger flashes through his eyes.

“You think I know what’s going on right now?” you say in exasperation.

“Last night after she called you promised me she wouldn’t be coming around!” It’s true, you had promised that. Vriska wouldn’t stop calling, and you eventually had to take her call. You gave her the same speech as usual, and you thought she was taking you seriously for once.

“Dave, I know this is fucked up. I don’t want her here, but obviously I can’t control her. Casey must have let her in while we were in the shower.” You grab some dirty clothes off the bathroom floor and throw them on. “Dave, get some fucking pants on and come up to the kitchen.” you throw some clothes at him and storm out of the bathroom. Vriska is sprawled out on your couch and when she sees you heading upstairs she scrambles up after you.

“So John, are ya even gonna look at me?” Vriska’s voice is like nails on a chalkboard.

You whip around to face her. You don’t even have to try to look intimidating because you are so steamed that you are ready to get in her face.

“Vriska, you are not welcome here.” you say, your voice straining. You want to shout so badly. “I told you not to come here. Yet here you are, again.” It feels like you’re going to pop a blood vessel with how intensely you’re glaring at her. She just glares right on back. You turn around and continue on to the kitchen. Dave bounds up the stairs and takes a seat next to you in the kitchen. Vriska gets the message and sits opposite of you and Dave. No one says anything at first.

“Let’s cut to the chase here, people.” Dave breaks the silence. “It’s summer. I don’t work Mondays, John’s a teacher, and I have no fucking clue what you do with your life,” he nods in Vriska’s direction, “Even so, I don’t wanna spend today sitting around staring at y’all.” He fold his arms over his chest and leans back in the chair. Already you can tell it’s going to be a long day.

~

_It was a very hot day, even for July. Your best friend Terezi took you down to southern California for the fourth of July._

_“John,” she’d said, “you need to get over this break up. Karkat ain’t coming back.” Terezi was always blunt with you. “Ya know what, you’re coming to celebrate the 4th with me this year. You have one day to get your shit packed.”_

_The idea of going to celebrate an overrated holiday with strangers was not an idea that appealed to you. But Terezi was right, you did need to get over Karkat. He’d dumped your ass and did not spare your feelings in the process. Everywhere you went something reminded you of him. Perhaps getting out of town was a good idea. Terezi did not tell you how long you’d be gone, so you shoved some basic clothing into your duffel bag along with toiletries. She was at your doorstep the next day around noon._

_“C’mon Egbert! We gotta get on the road! The 4th might be two days away, but we gotta start burnin’ rubber!” Terezi’s flip flops clunked down your front steps, and you dragged yourself out after her. She lived right next door to you, so even though she was blind she’d made it to your house without a hitch. You still had to do all of the driving, though._

_“So I’m thinking that we’ll get to my cousin’s house around tomorrow morning if we drive nonstop.”_

_"Where does your cousin live?” you asked._

_“Eh, somewhere out way far in the country. I guess there’s a lot of empty space in California that you can live on real cheap.” You pulled your beat up station wagon out of your drive way and Terezi used her teeth to rip open a bag of Cheetos. It was going to be a long drive._

_After 20 hours in a car, 5 of which you spent asleep, you finally arrived at your destination. It was a ramshackle sort of house, with parts of the roof covered with tarp and some windows missing screens. Usually you would have commented on how questionable this joint looked, but in the car you’d promised yourself that you would let go on this trip. Live a little. Forget about the douche bag who ruined your senior year of high school. He dumped you two weeks before graduation, so technically not the whole year, but still! You’d be going off to college in the fall, so why not get all the crazy out of you where no one knows who you are?_

_“Hey cuz!” Terezi shouted, waving at some girl who’d come out of the house. She was older than Terezi, but just as vivacious. Despite her age, she was holding a beat up skate board. “You got the booze?” The woman held up a bottle of liquor as an answer to Terezi’s question. Terezi shoves your bag at you and runs inside. You cautiously follow, not sure what manners to use in a situation like this. Terezi hadn’t even introduced you to this woman, for goodness’ sake. And what were you supposed to do about the alcohol? You knew that your dad would whoop your ass if he found out you drank underage. You ignored the voice of reason nagging at you, because you were 18 now, and you felt like enough of an adult._

_The party didn’t really get started until that evening. Even though it was a day early, a huge crowd of college kids came to the house with backpacks full of fireworks. To get your mind off the fact that fireworks and alcohol aren’t a good combination, you got spitting drunk. What great logic._

_It was probably the alcohol flowing through your system that made her catch your eye. Even though you identified as gay, you still found women to be quite attractive. She was full of confidence and a shameless flirt. She even seemed to be a bit of a self-proclaimed bad ass. You talked the night away. She was the same age as you, going to a college in LA, with dreams of becoming an engineer. Her ability to speak so easily to a person she’d just met fascinated you. After the fireworks started to slow down and people were packing up to go home, you invited her inside of the house. She happily obliged, and you ended up in bed with her. The decision to have sex with her was made in a split second. As far as you were concerned Karkat could go fuck himself._

_The sex wasn’t that great. It was sloppy, unfulfilling and awkward. You didn’t know what to do, or how to touch her. You’d never had sex with a woman before. Vriska took charge and pretty much did everything for you. Finally, as you entered her body you could feel a certain unease come over you. You wanted to stop, but she urged you on and on, and eventually you came. Drunk as you were, it didn’t occur to you to wear a condom._

_And the rest is history._

_She found you two months later. You’re not sure how, but you think Terezi helped her track you down. She was pregnant, didn’t want to be, and was blaming you. And you knew it was all your fault. You were an idiot and didn’t wear a condom. She was a girl who thought she had a future ahead of her. You agreed to care for the baby after it was born, so she could move on and forget it ever happened. You went to community college, she returned to LA, and you obtained legal custody of the child after its birth. Vriska said goodbye for what you thought would be the last time, and you were ready to begin your new life with your child. It was hard to explain the situation to your father. Initially he’d been so mad he could’ve strangled you, but after letting it sink if for a few months he was willing to help you out. He helped you get into an apartment, get a job, and get back on your feet._

_Then Vriska started visiting. The first few times it was okay when she came over. Something was suspicious though, and you knew it. One day while talking on the phone with Terezi she let it slip that Vriska was never actually accepted to the college she wanted to go to. She was depressed and her life was spiraling out of control. It was around that time that you wanted her to stop seeing your daughter. Vriska was a potential bad influence, and you wanted Casey to grow up as normally as possible. It had been a few years at that point. Casey loved her mom, and from their brief visits together you could tell Vriska loved her back. That’s what made it so hard to tell her she had to stop coming._

_You found out about The Incident from the Channel 7 News. You’d just finished putting Casey to bed and turned on the TV in your living room. The news anchor didn’t interest you, but you nearly fell off the couch when you saw a mug-shot of Vriska appear on screen. Turning up the volume, you heard it all. How she’d gotten drunk. How she’d snuck into a night club. How she’d found a man in a wheel chair. How she’d beaten him nearly to death. You wanted to throw up. This woman could not see your daughter anymore. You figured anyone capable of such inhumane violence had no place in your daughter’s life._

_And, like you said, the rest is history._


End file.
